Marilyn Monroe
Today was a FAB-U-LOUS day for me! Not because I won the lottery or anything. It was because I woke up feeling pretty with a smile on my face ready to take on the day, whatever came my way I was going to greet it with my FMDS, Fabulous Million Dollar Smile! :-)TING!
As I got dressed to go to work this morning I felt so pretty. I even had my son take a picture of me. On my way to work I had to laugh at myself in the car because I found it truly amazing how adorning my body in basic black and these wonderful accessories had changed my whole attitude about myself for a moment. How I walked with my head up, chest out and eyes with pride. There was a certain rhythmic sway in my walk and I wanted to smile and greet everyone! I can not express how pretty I felt and here it is 7:30pm and I am STILL smiling and feeling pretty.So today I did as my spiritual advisor tells me when I feel this way,I " Bottle up this feeling so when you are feeling down or people aren't on your side you can pull this out and remember how gooood it felt."
There aren't many days I feel this way. I always see the negative in myself and the physical flaws( fat rolls, hanging skin, stretch marks,etc.) but not today! Today, I saw a beautiful young woman. A woman that had a lot to offer to the world. As I drove to work this random thought came across my mind how women compare themselves to other women. In this particular thought, how women compare themselves to the ex's new girl or the one he cheated on them with. What is the first thing women say?,"She ain't even cute! He could've at least upgraded. She don't even look like nothin''. Then, we proceed to critique her hair,clothes, how she talks, walks and acts. But it dawned on me that the men aren't seeing her that way. No, she may not be as cute as you are or dress as well as you, but it is all in how she carries herself. That confidence is something sexy! Think about it, every woman wants a confident man. A man who KNOWS who he is and what he brings to the table and KNOWS he has the finest woman in town and he has her mind,body and soul so he doesn't have to worry about no other man stealing her away from him! So what does he attract? The woman who is confident, her head is up (but not stuck up), she cares about how she presents herself and carries herself as a lady and she KNOWS what she brings to the table and if you don't like it please feel free to get up from her table so someone else can appreciate what she has to offer. Yes, physical attraction plays a part in all this but the confidence is what draws you in. She/he can be the most beautiful thing that God created but if they lack that self confidence you tend to turn away from them and then say,"Man she cute and all but that's all she is." Or, "Girl he is fine but he doesn't have that umf to him,you know what I mean?" Their lack of confidence doesn't make you want to get to know them better or even be around them even more.
I have a sister friend that thinks she is the Sh*T! and you can't tell her otherwise. When she walks past a mirror or even a window she watches herself until she can't anymore and then proceeds to walk with her head up and switchin' so hard you would think she is going to throw her hip out! But I LOVE that about her. I always said,"I wish I could have just an ounce of your confidence, I would be one bad woman." She always laughs at me and says,"Ms. Shuntella I don't know why you don't you are a very beautiful woman." But see I don't see what she sees. I see with negative eyes. I see fat rolls, big thighs and back fat. Things I feel that need to be fixed in order for people to see me as pretty. My disillusional eyes.
After playing dress up for this new job I found a new appreciation and acceptance of the body I am in. I realized I will NEVER be model skinny, that's just not in my DNA. I have embraced my thick thighs,big calves and full hips. That is how God made me. BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE my curves. There are women out there that wish they had what I was wishing to get rid of. And there is a man that KNOWS I am the finest woman in town, at least in his eyes and KNOWS what I bring to the table. Why? Because I KNOW I may not be the finest woman in town but I will sho'nuff give the finest a run for her money honey! and what I bring so to the table is God sent and has been worked on and continues to be a work in progress!
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